It Was a Lie.

Remember how I said I'd be be a better Blogger? It was kind of a lie. 

But I really am trying.

I'm Back! (I think...)

After 8 months of not posting on this blog I had almost completely forgotten about it. But something reminded me of this old "e-journal" that I had going at one time and prompted me to revisit it. I am so glad I did. 
I'm not a good writer, nor is my life so fantastic that everyone wants to read about it. But I had a great time reading through some of the things I have written over the last few years. It was fun to remember some of the awesome things I've done, to be reminded of times when my testimony was strengthened, and to laugh about some of my thoughts. 
I've never been good at keeping up a journal. Very inconsistent. But I realize now, that even if I can't post every day, or share every tiny thing that happens, it's important to keep a history. I know I want to remember the great things in my life, but I also want to record some things for my future family. I want them to know who I was at their age, how I thought, what I believed. 
So here I am, again. I'm re-committing myself (for the hundredth time) to being a better journal keeper. Even if I'm the only one to benefit from this, so be it. But I hope that one day my children and my grandchildren will know who I was and can learn a few things from my life. 

Don't Google Yourself. It's Scary.

I just Googled mysef. I don't like it. I don't like what information any random freakozoid could find about me on the internet. They can pull up my a picture of me, my age, gender, and any pages that have my name on them.

Please internet, keep out of my personal life. 

Thanks.

A Whole Box Of 'Em

Today I have done it. I have used an entire box of tissues. 

Being sick is always lame. But it is never lamer (yeah, lamer is a word) than over your 3-day weekend. Yep, I was sick for my supposed-to-be-relaxing break. Hated it. I felt like crud, but honestly looked fine. Today I don't feel so sick, but I look and sound like I was hit by a train. Ironic. When you want sympathy no one gives it to you. And when you're fine, everyone feels sorry for you.

Plus, I better get better like pronto. I have a date tomorrow night.

Love it Hate it

Last night I was bawling because I hated my major.

Today I was bawling because I love my major.

It's a love/hate relationship.

Game Night

Almost every Sunday night a bunch of friends from the ward get together to play games. The congregation gathers at either my house or Devin's. We have our favorite games, the ones we play over and over and for hours at a time, but we also try to mix it up a bit sometimes and play new ones.

Game night never bores me. I love getting together with my friends and just having fun. We could laugh all night. I even have to set restrictions so people don't stay over all night, but leaving "early" means being out by midnight. Mondays are hard.

I have some of the funnest, most cherished memories from those game nights. The relationships that have been built are some that will last forever.

Love Day

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. I kind of hate Valentine's Day. It reminds me that I'm single. Not that it's bad to be single. But it seems that I am single every Valentine's Day.

But yesterday was the busiest Valentine's I've ever had. It was filled with school, work, homework, Relief Society visits, cookie deliveries, dinner with the family, date with a ward friend, more homework, and finally my bed. It was the most exhausting day. 

Now here I am at work, fighting with every ounce of energy I have to stay awake. I've already dozed off 3 times. This is bad.

Teachers

"In a completely rational society, the best of us would be teachers and the rest of us would have to settle for something less."

Becoming A Part Of Me

Today one of my professors shared a great quote with me. I think it's from Elder Bednar.

"Don't just go through the scriptures. Let the scriptures go through you."

That's something I'm really trying to do. As I read my scriptures I really try to dig deep, to find something for me. It truly means so much more as I ponder and read to learn new things rather than just trying to finish the Book of Mormon one more time. 

The scriptures are really becoming a part of me. 

Things I Would Never Know If I Didn't Know

Being the Relief Society President has taught me so many things. Really, more than I can ever count. I have had hard times, happy times, sad times, and joyful times. 

I've learned a lot about the girls I serve with. So many of them have hard things in their lives. Things I would never know about just by looking at them and having a casual conversation with them. Things that they keep bottled up inside, just being as strong as they know how. 

I am amazed at their strength as they experience things I will never understand. Things that I can only stand by and watch as they go through them. 

I try my best to be a support for them when they need me. 

I have learned over and over again that everyone has their own trials, no matter if others can see them or not. Never judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes.

Girls Bug

Elementary Ed is full of girls. 

And girls are all control freaks. And moody. And get offended too easily. And can be pretty bratty. 

Please don't let me be like them.

I'm Proud

My social studies teacher gave me this poem the other day. I love it. I really am "Proud to be an American".

Proud to be an American

by Tom Zart

America, the abundant, the place I was born

I'll cherish till the day I die.

Where the bones of past heroes lie buried in the gound

Who loved her the same as I.

Her mountains are so tall they reach for the sky;

With prairies where the green grasses grow.

There's billions of tress where wild birds nest

With creatures that flourish below. 

That blue gold called water with which we are blessed

As raindrops or crystallized snow; 

Changes to rivers and fresh water lakes

While the winds of our seasons blow.

There's the haunt of a whistle from a lonely freight train

Racing on ribbons of steel

With the harvest of farms and from the factories

Balanced in a box on a wheel.

Some cities have buildings a hundred stories tall, 

Structures of concrete, glass, and steel.

A statue in a harbor, a present from France,

Describes how, inside, we feel.

That flag with red and white stripes

Proves American's dreams come true.

A country of heroes who line up to protect

The past, the present and the few.

We'll defeat terrorism as it should be fought

Never letting Satan's horde chase us to our door.

Safe guarding our borders and system of life

As our forefathers sacrificed before.

Never be afraid to be proud of America

And march with the brave, faithful, and just.

Refusing to summit to the will of our enemies

Standing firm to preserve what we trust.

A Broken Heart / A Little Laugh

A few days ago my family went to Taco Bell. Yum. I met them there as I was on my way home from taking a test. When I arrived they had a story to tell that made me giggle, but really tugged at my heart strings. 

As they were waiting for their order, a man who was homeless came in. He told the clerk that his wife had gone through the drive through about 45 minutes earlier. When she got home she realized that she was missing a Chalupa, two tacos, and a quesadilla, so he had to walk all the way back to Taco Bell to get it. Really, sir? Your wife didn't realize she was missing that much food until she got home? Ok. So, she drove through the drive through, but when you came back you had to walk? Were you grounded from using the car? Sure. Well, the clerk went back and talked to her manager. The manager came out and the man related the same story. The workers decided the give him his order. They told him it would be a few minutes and asked him to wait. The man agreed and asked, "While I'm waiting, can I have a drink?" Again, they consented and gave the man a free drink. His food was ready and the man started to leave the restaurant. Just outside there door was another man, waiting with their belongings, holding a Del Taco bag. Looks like the hit up all the taco joints in Provo. 

While that story is a little funny because of their extravagant story, it really breaks my heart that there are people who are starving and who literally can't afford an 89 cent taco. I'm glad the employees were generous enough to realize that sometimes, people just need a break. 

Everyday millions suffer from starvation. Wouldn't the world be a better place if everyone could just be a bit more generous? I think I'll be able to slip a little extra in the fast offerings envelope this month. Really, I'm sure there are people who could use it more than I can.

How Did They Do It?

It's been a cold week. And when I say cold I really mean miserably freezing. Deathly cold. But I only have to spend ten minutes max. in the cold as I walk from my car into class. As I'm making the short journey I can't help but think of the Pioneers. Here I am, in my big puffy coat, a sweater, and boots, and I feel like my life might end at any moment from the debilitating weather. 

How about the Pioneers? They were in dresses, maybe had a few blankets (if they were lucky), and shoes worn down to almost nothing.  And their journey didn't end in ten minutes like mine did. In fact, their was months. Years for some. They had no where to go to warm up, to thaw out. 

Seriously, how did they do it?

As I was thinking about that it reminded me of the many other blessings that I enjoy. What did people do when there weren't cars? What about computers? Or cell phones? Things I consider necessities now weren't even an option to our ancestors.

I live in such an amazing time. I hope to be able to remember my blessings always, and thank my Heavenly Father often for the magnificent things I have.

My Mom's a Rockstar

I have the greatest mom. I really do. She's the kind of person that can handle anything. She does more than I ever though possible, but still has time to be the loving, caring person that she is.

She is the first one to leave to work in the morning. She goes to teach fourth grade for many hours each day, spending extra time before and after making sure her class is in perfect order. She is in the Young Women's presidency (for about the 50th time), and writes lessons, comes up with activities, and does so much for the young girls in her ward. She comes home to a house full of hungry teenagers and has the energy to make dinner for her ravenous family. After dinner she escapes for a time to do her daily (or at least almost daily) workout. When she gets home from the gym she helps do homework, clean up the house, and anything else that needs doing. 

Last night when everyone else was in bed I heard my mom up in the kitchen. When I went upstairs to see what she was up to I found her making dinner for her visiting teacher who is in the hospital. After a long day of school, parent-teacher conferences, getting dinner for the family, going to mutual, attending a 2-hour stake meeting, she comes home--probably very exhausted--and spends time preparing a meal for someone in need.

She's awesome. Seriously. A rockstar.

Shhh!! Quiet Down There!

Ok, for the last few days my stomach has been needing a little attention. Seriously, it just can't keep quiet for two minutes. It's totally embarrassing. I'm sitting in class or at work and people start looking around to see if there's a bear or something. Nope! Just Rebekah's stomach. 

What's going on little guy? What do you need? Please be quite down there. 

I hope that doesn't lead to confusion with my last post. I still promise I don't have worms. Completely unrelated. 

I Got Worms

Not those kind you guys! That's sick!

But really. For my science class we have to raise mealworms. Nasty. I don't appreciate this assignment. Thank you Mrs. Frizzle.

Dance Like Someone {is} Watching

You know that saying, "Dance like no one is watching?" Well, today I did. And guess what. Someone was watching. 

In fact, it's all captured on film. Awesome.  

My confidence was compromised as I watched the replay of myself dancing. You know what? I'll never take up dancing as a career. Just to save myself--and everyone else--a little bit of discomfort. 

Happiness

This thought popped into my head a few weeks ago and I wrote it down. Today I came upon the little scrap of paper that I wrote it on and felt glad that I took the time to record it. I really don't know where to give credit, I'm sure someone has said this before...I just don't know who. 

"It's really easy to be happy when things are going our way. The test is whether we can be happy when things aren't going our way."

Do the Positive

Years ago my dad came upon a simple story with great advice. The message of this story quickly became his frequent advice to me.  Here is the story he related to me: “In high school I wanted to try out for the basketball team. I loved the game but didn’t have the moves. And I wasn’t tight with the cool kids on the team. I sweated the decision and started to chicken out. I told myself, “You don’t really want to spend all your free time shooting hoops.”

That’s when Mom said, “When in doubt, do the positive.” Can’t decide whether you should get all dressed up and go to that party? Don’t know if you should ‘intrude’ on a new neighbor with a homemade welcome cake? Worried that an old lady would find you rude for offering to help her with her grocery bags? Do the positive! Go to the party, bake the cake, help the old lady! A life of doing is better than one of regretting what you didn’t dare do.”

 

 Each time I was feeling afraid or hesitant my dad reminded me to “Do the Positive”. That saying became our family motto and has even earned itself a plaque in our home. Just like my dad, our Father in Heaven wants just that. He wants us to do the positive. 

Lately I've been trying to "do the positive". It's a lot harder than it sounds, but it really is worth it. People generally don't find you rude or intrusive for doing something nice. Although sometimes it can be scary or awkward, the payoff comes when you make someone's day, build a friendship, or change someone's life.  

Decade of Decisions

Who knew these decisions would be thrown at me so fast? I'm too young to make such life-changing resolutions. So many things to consider. It's scary, it's painful, it's exciting, it's amazing! 

I guess it's just a matter of months until all of these big decisions are made. I can't believe it. I guess it's really true when they say this is the "Decade of Decisions". (Or did I just make that up?!) 

Well, it is. 

Lucky

Lately I've been realizing just how lucky I am. I mean, really. I am blessed in so many ways.

I am lucky to have a family who loves and supports me. 
I am lucky to have the opportunity to go to school and get a good education.
I am lucky to have awesome friends.
I am lucky to work with great girls in Relief Society.
I am lucky to know the truthfulness of the gospel.
I am lucky to have a healthy, strong body.
I am lucky to have a job.
I am lucky to have a roof over my head, food to eat, and warm clothes to wear.
I am lucky to have countless opportunities. 

But I also know it's not just luck. I've worked hard, done my best, struggled, prayed, and learned so many new things in order to be where I am today. 

Grammatically Incorrect

I just thought I'd mention that I do, in fact, know that my grammar is not always correct. Really it's stylistic and artsy. It's for dramatic affect. I try to write it exactly as I'd say it. 

Don't judge me. 

2011 Here I Come

So, it's a new semester. A new year. Starting new. Starting fresh. I considered putting "be a better blogger" on my list of New Years Resolutions, but I knew I wouldn't succeed at that, so why set myself up for failure? Yeah, exactly. So I didn't.

However, I think this New Years Resolution will be forced on me. Whether I like it or not. For my literacy class we are required to keep a journal (in my case an e-journal). Just to keep record of our lives and to remember this journey we are going through. So, here I come blogging world. I'm recommitting myself. Although this is a self reported assignment, I think this little motivation will help me keep up on my blogging a bit better. 

So, lets just start with the fact that 2011 is here. What? Wasn't it like 1995 yesterday? I swear it was. I'm 20 and a half, in my senior year of college, and will be starting teaching this year. No, too young. Not ready. Not mature enough. I guess I don't have a choice though. So, 2011--here I come! 

Let me highlight some of the most exciting things that I am anticipating in 2011. 

First and foremost, I am proud to announce that I will be nominating myself for "Aunt of the Year" for 2011. Because, afterall, I WILL be an aunt. Yep. Lauren and Mark are expecting their first little one in April. Baby boy Walker. Can't even wait to meet the little stinker. Can't wait to be the best aunt (because obviously I will be....). 

Second, I will finish up my campus courses at BYU. Can we thank the high heavens for that? I am so excited to be finished. I've loved my experience at BYU, and have learned so much, but really, being done will be so beautiful. I don't think I'll miss the McKay building or the Testing Center. Or the parking situation for that matter. 

Third, I will begin my internship (hopefully) as a teacher. I'm applying next week and will have interviews in March. If all turns out as hoped then I will have my very own classroom in just 8 short months. Too crazy. 

Fourth, I will turn 21. Yeah, I'll be even MORE legal than I was when I turned 18. I'll be able to do all the "adult" stuff. None of which I will actually take part in--but I'll feel cool anyway. 21. Who ever thought I'd make it?

Fifth, I'll most likely be getting married......OK, JOKE! Not even dating anyone. But, wouldn't that be cool? Find this hunk who is so perfect in every single way? Doubtful, but maybe. 

There are countless other exciting things to look forward to this year. I'm sure 2011 will be the best year yet! Can't wait to see what's in store for me. 

Look forward--or just quit reading now--to more blog posts in 2011!